It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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