he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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