The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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