so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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