Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
