You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
