Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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