Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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