did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize