She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
