He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
