Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am midnight drunk by noon
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!