Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"