I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.