I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized