shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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