I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
