Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
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So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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