im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
