I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
