If i come over, it means nothing
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
