I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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