Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
