census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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