the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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