Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
