Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
