weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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