Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
