the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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