i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize