I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
