yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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