We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
