happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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