I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
