he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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