do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
