Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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