Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
