We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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