Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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