Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
50% drunk capacity currently
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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