I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
