btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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