Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
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Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
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I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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