Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize