Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I look better un-naked...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
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My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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