Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize