Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
