Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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