Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
