Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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