I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
