Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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