HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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