Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
