I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize