I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
