JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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