she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize