Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
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He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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