Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize