hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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