Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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