Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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