I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
