you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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