I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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