Whod you bang
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
